Self respect is a universal human need. Being grateful for one's own talents, possessions and friendships checks negativity in one's ego. Keeping one's ego in a positive direction creates resiliency in one's self respect. It takes wisdom to constantly weed out negativity from one's ego. Traumatic experiences are not under one's control and they arrive with boatloads lot of negativity in one's life. Experiences in one's childhood or during the time in one's life before which someone's wisdom is asleep creates the map of one's emotional behaviors. Childhood experiences do not need to be traumatic, for example a separation, a series of setbacks, not receiving emotional support while growing up, to set one ego towards the negative territory. Excessive pampering without an inculcation of humility and gratitude can create a brat.
Psychologists define a narcissist to be one whose ego rules, looking for pleasure, gain and glory. Often this ego also can find comfort being the center of a "victimized" universe. We all have met a person in our lives who exaggerate their personal misery and enjoy aggrandizing facts around themselves. They justify their own situations and hold the view that they are right. People around them feel stifled, feeling guilty for things that they did not cause. Explanations and guidance from others fall on their deaf ears. Psychologists who help patients with pain management find that such folks have the toughest time healing. On the other hand those with a lighter heart, humility and gratitude have been noted to recover quickly from their injuries.
The ego of anyone can flip into negativity. It is important to center oneself, dipping into the place of quite and then help someone else. Serving someone less fortunate can bring out humility. Taking a broader view of life brings out a sense of appreciation for a help received. Every action to quite the mind, even for a few minutes a day can wake up the dormant wisdom. Dipping the mind within and bringing the mind out in service are like the two sides of a coin. Enjoy the opportunity to experience the coins by joining the "Stress Free Violence Free Community" campaign.